From Fear to Freedom

"It was April 6th, 2022, Gregory’s guess date. A warm and windy spring day in Sedona. The trees and flowers around our property were just starting to bloom.

The morning was kind of a blur- just riding the waves of birth and trying to rest between the really intense sensations. I had been up all night with surges getting more and more strong. I was laboring in bed, on the toilet facing backwards and laying my head on folded towels, and the bathtub all night. I was focusing on breathing deep and remembering my positive affirmations. I kept rubbing my belly and talking to my baby telling him how excited I was to meet him soon and that we were doing great.

Steve got up and set up the birthing pool. It felt so good to get in and feel the warm water on my achy body. The view of nature from the window in that room is beautiful. I felt held by and connected to nature throughout my pregnancy and even during birth. I labored in there for a couple hours then went back into the bedroom for a while to try to get some rest. Birth does not allow you to rest unless you can sleep for the few minutes between sensations which I did…a little.

Sometime around noon, I started to lose my mucus plug and it continued to come out after each sensation. Steve was feeding me snacks and water to keep me energized. I was not able to eat much but it was enough to sustain me. I was also making sure to stay very hydrated and eliminate as much as possible. It was so nice to be able to move freely and be comfortable in my own home. I was naked the whole time and able to really focus and tune into my body and my baby.

At around 3pm I started to see the “bloody show”. I think this is when I entered the transition stage because I started to doubt myself a little bit. Steve was right by my side reassuring me that everything was perfect. And it was. We were about to meet our sweet little baby.

At a little after 3pm I was on the toilet and I felt my Yoni starting to push! It was such a crazy feeling. I looked at Steve with wide eyes and said 'I’m pushing!' So we went back in the pool. I didn’t feel pushy again for a couple sensations but when I changed position from my bum to a lunge position leaning over the side of the pool, the pushing stage officially started. It was exciting because this meant the he would be born soon and the hard part would be over.

I pushed for about an hour. A bunch of blood and clots came out first then finally I started to feel something big coming out. I felt inside me and it just felt soft so I figured it was his molded head or the sac. I wasn’t sure if my waters had released yet. After a couple pushes my waters released and I knew he was almost here. Steve helped me remember to not push too much and to breathe the baby down slowly to protect my Yoni. The fetal ejection reflex kicked in and my body was involuntarily pushing. It was a wild feeling and kind of satisfying. I was making loud primal noises.

Finally his head started coming down. It burned and I felt like I just wanted him out but knew I needed to be patient and gentle. It took a few pushes for him to crown and then a few more for his head to be out. I was in the lunge position leaning over the side of the pool wall with my bum out of the water so Steve got behind me in the pool to help catch Gregory. He was so amazing and supportive. The energy was very calm and the song ‘Bam Bam’ by Sister Nancy was playing from the playlist I made for labor.

When Greg’s head came out we were so excited! Steve told me his head was out and he could see his cute little face. I was so happy. I wasn’t sure what position he was in because my back hurt so bad during labor. I thought maybe he was posterior. He wasn’t. His head came out facing my back. My intuition told me to switch legs in the lunge position after a few pushes to get his body out. The minute I switched which leg was up I took a deep breathe and let my body push him out. Steve caught him and passed him to me between my legs right away. He was already letting out a sweet cry. It was the best moment of my life.

He had a lot of fluid to get out so I suctioned his mouth with mine gently to help. Steve put a towel around us and I rubbed his feet and back. I stood up to go lay horizontal in bed with him to avoid hemorrhage and Steve realized Gregory’s placenta was ready to come out so he grabbed a large bowl and I squatted over it. The placenta came right out effortlessly.

We slowly walked over to bed and bonded with him for a couple hours. At first he still had a lot of fluid to get out so he cried it out for a little while. Then he latched quickly to my breast. We were ecstatic to meet him and just in awe of the whole experience. It was so beautiful. After we bonded for a few hours and we felt that he had gotten all of his blood from his placenta, we decided to clamp and cut the cord. We thanked the placenta for being his first guardian and put her in the freezer to plant a cherry blossom tree with later. There are a lot of cherry blossoms in Sedona and they bloomed right when his birth was approaching. His placenta is the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen. It’s blue, purple and red and the vessels look like a beautiful tree. I can also see what looks like a Goddess in the tree. We will plant the tree right outside his bedroom where he was born and it will blossom every year right before his birthday.

When he was born, the late afternoon light was so beautiful -shining through the window from the west and the window overlooking the breathe taking Cocino National Forest in Sedona and Lower Chimney Rock. It was absolutely perfect. Giving birth has been the greatest high of my life. I am so grateful that I educated myself about undisturbed spontaneous physiological birth. Birth works. Birth is satisfying. Birth is rejuvenating. Birth is wonderful. I look forward to doing it again someday."

With love, Kallen Mikel

Instagram: @_kallenmikel Personal IG: @thisiskallen